Mom & Cynthia Reunite, Jan. 19, 2001

Illustrated by Wolf Erlbruch (Chronicle Books, 1998)

Hi Mom - 

Good day!  I was fondly remembering our little visit with Cynthia.  It was a kick driving down there with you, then have the two of you treat each other well.

I truly hope you continue your relationship with Cynthia.  I think she needs you just as much as I.

Love you,

Tom

Cynthia's number: ###-###-####

It took quite a few years to build Mom and Cynthia up for the possibility of a reunion.  Their estrangement started when Nanny died and Mom & Dad's house burned down.  Mom was convinced that Cynthia as trying to take Nanny's estate and stole the will.  Cynthia also tried to take Mom's legal authority away over Nanny's estate as well, which ended with a legal battle in Mom's favor.  Later, Mom would accuse Cynthia of trying to get Nanny's estate to fund Henry's new dentist office.  I do not know if this is true.

Then when the fire occurred, Cynthia showed no sympathy or support.  One evening shortly after the fire and while Mom & Dad were living in temporary housing two doors down, a phone conversation between Dad & Cynthia ended hotly when she hung up on Dad (nobody except Cynthia knows what was discussed, but I wouldn't be surprised if it was Dad who "started" it).  That was the last time they ever spoke.  No one knew at the time that Dad was struggling with cancer and would pass away the following year.  Dad reached out to Cynthia, quite literally on his deathbed, but she refused to see him one last time.  

This entire episode hurt Mom deeply.  She already lost her first son to suicide, then her mother, then the fire, and then Cynthia unsympathetically bails.  After this reunification, Mom confided in me that she was waiting, expecting an apology.  The apology never came.  The only modicum of sympathy Cynthia ever expressed was when they had a small fire start in their son Joshua's room.  Mom told me that was the first time Cynthia seemed to understand what had happened to Mom, which incensed her that Cynthia's minor smoke damage was somehow comparable.

Sadly and not surprisingly, the reunification didn't last.  As Mom became progressively ill, Cynthia's husband, Henry, expressed his interest in placing Mom in care near them in Aptos.  My defense of Mom's independence didn't set will with Henry, so our relationship began to decline.  Mom made it clear to me that she had no interest in living in the Santa Cruz area and was displeased that Henry & Cynthia were trying to coax her in that direction.

Ultimately, Mom told me she sent a letter to Cynthia saying that she loved her but that it was time to go their separate ways.  Mom didn't hear from her again.