Cynthia's House Warming

Artist: Stephanie Dyment (Cardmix 2005)

June 25, 2006

Dearest Tom & Rob,

The very best to you both with the new digs - they are beautiful.  I say "they" because you have so many (rooms in the house).  We hope chaos has subsided and being comfortable is beginning.  You deserve it.  So very happy to know Mom is doing so great.  She sounds happy when we talk & busy.  Good signs.

Cheers -
Peace & love

Cynthia

I believe in this moment she was truly genuine, but it's sad that it didn't persist.

Mom & Cynthia Reunite, Jan. 19, 2001

Illustrated by Wolf Erlbruch (Chronicle Books, 1998)

Hi Mom - 

Good day!  I was fondly remembering our little visit with Cynthia.  It was a kick driving down there with you, then have the two of you treat each other well.

I truly hope you continue your relationship with Cynthia.  I think she needs you just as much as I.

Love you,

Tom

Cynthia's number: ###-###-####

It took quite a few years to build Mom and Cynthia up for the possibility of a reunion.  Their estrangement started when Nanny died and Mom & Dad's house burned down.  Mom was convinced that Cynthia as trying to take Nanny's estate and stole the will.  Cynthia also tried to take Mom's legal authority away over Nanny's estate as well, which ended with a legal battle in Mom's favor.  Later, Mom would accuse Cynthia of trying to get Nanny's estate to fund Henry's new dentist office.  I do not know if this is true.

Then when the fire occurred, Cynthia showed no sympathy or support.  One evening shortly after the fire and while Mom & Dad were living in temporary housing two doors down, a phone conversation between Dad & Cynthia ended hotly when she hung up on Dad (nobody except Cynthia knows what was discussed, but I wouldn't be surprised if it was Dad who "started" it).  That was the last time they ever spoke.  No one knew at the time that Dad was struggling with cancer and would pass away the following year.  Dad reached out to Cynthia, quite literally on his deathbed, but she refused to see him one last time.  

This entire episode hurt Mom deeply.  She already lost her first son to suicide, then her mother, then the fire, and then Cynthia unsympathetically bails.  After this reunification, Mom confided in me that she was waiting, expecting an apology.  The apology never came.  The only modicum of sympathy Cynthia ever expressed was when they had a small fire start in their son Joshua's room.  Mom told me that was the first time Cynthia seemed to understand what had happened to Mom, which incensed her that Cynthia's minor smoke damage was somehow comparable.

Sadly and not surprisingly, the reunification didn't last.  As Mom became progressively ill, Cynthia's husband, Henry, expressed his interest in placing Mom in care near them in Aptos.  My defense of Mom's independence didn't set will with Henry, so our relationship began to decline.  Mom made it clear to me that she had no interest in living in the Santa Cruz area and was displeased that Henry & Cynthia were trying to coax her in that direction.

Ultimately, Mom told me she sent a letter to Cynthia saying that she loved her but that it was time to go their separate ways.  Mom didn't hear from her again.

Cousin Todd Eddy & GF Claudia (c. 2016)

Illustration by Carolus Clusius (Antwerp, 1601) Reproduced by Archelaus

Dear Tom,

I just wanted you to know I'm thinking about you.  The plan was to get this card to you by your mom's birthday, so I'm hoping for a little help from USPS!

I miss your mom.  I can hardly imagine how much you must miss her.  My birthday (55th, yikes) just passed; your mom never failed to call on that day and give me the warmest, most loving birthday greeting.  "My Dear," she called me.  Nobody, before or since, has called me that.  Now I hope nobody ever does.

So I know you miss her, but I know you and Rob are busily and creatively making a great life together.  How are you?  What's new?  Thanks for the very thoughtful Christmas card, and I'm sorry I didn't send any out this year.  If I had, it would have said: we're doing fine, hope you're well, glad to hear you all have finally received some rain. (Our winter was alarmingly warm and dry.)

It would be great to see you. I hope before too long.

Love,

Todd

Hello Tom!

Thinking of your mom and what a cool lady she was...so glad I got to meet her in her own sweet home in Cali.  You are probably missing her every nuance - still!  I so get that!  Anyway, thinking of you and hoping you are well.  Thanks for thinking of us at Christmas.  Although we don't do Christmas cards, we sure do think of you and your sweet Mom thru out the year...wish we were better @ conveying that to you and Rob.  Hope this finds you both happy and healthy. ☺

💛

Claud[ia]

Todd always apologizes for not writing, when I just think it's a treat that I hear from him.  I'm so glad he had bond with Mom; I think for Mom he humor reminded her of Dad, and for Todd, Mom was a connection to the best parts of his family.  

Luke Walcher October 31, 2016

Luke Walcher

Thomas,

It has been an absolute pleasure working along side of you (quite literally) these past few months.  Even though I'm sure there was an internal scoff or eye-roll when you discovered they would be placing an intern next to you, I'm glad that's how it turned out.  I'm definitely going to miss our (not so early for you) morning chats and discussions about food, travel, office politics, and the culture.  I still have quite the to-do list thanks to you.

I really appreciate all your support and advice.  You've been a truly inspiring person to meet, and you definitely made it seem as if I didn't have to stay at arm's length around the office.  Now even though I'm off galavanting to Apple, I want to keep in touch.

So this isn't a goodbye, it's just a Happy Halloween and see you soon.

All the Best,

-Luke

Nice young man brought into DOT by Joel Clark.  Since then I have learned he is very fastidious and a thorough note take, which prompted me to talk to Rob about having Luke house sit while we are away.  Having Luke meet our other friends last night has made us feel like we made a good decision. Hopefully, all will go well at the end of the month when I'm in Seattle for a conference and Rob is at the cabin. If so, then we'll ask him to do it again when we're off to Disney World in October.

From Gale Berndt, July 31, 2017

Forget Me Not, by American Greetings

Inside caption:  For right now and all the days ahead - wishing you strength and peace.

Tom,

So very sorry for the loss of your mother Mary. I've lots of fond memories of your mom and dad as they traveled a few times up to Golden B.C., and the splendid hospitality when I visited in Sequim and Palo Alto.  Hope this finds you: Only have your mother[']s address.

All the best.  Hope you are well. Still [a] landscape architect?  Did you then work for the city[?] (Sorry the memory is lame).

Love, your cousin Gale
phone and email

Olga is well, but her eyesight is gone.  Luckily, she's never had any major health problems.  She''ll be 99 this November 2017.  Dianne and I take turns caring for her in her home.

She likes to sing.  She's a little forgetful at times, but often shares old memories.

Change from black to blue ink:

Thanks for X-mas card as now I have your address.

Dianne is with mom now.  I'm making a trip to B.C. and back for winter.

Home phone is ###

Home you are well
Have a happy day

Side margin notes: Where is Cynthia?  Tracy?  Hello to her.
Our father Alfred passed June 2016, I feel for your sorrows.  Time often stands still.

I might have met Gale, but I certainly am not remembering.  I have heard Mom's phone calls with Olga, and they are often riotous, with Olga exciting Mom with tales of shooting crows and squirrels in the yard.  Very boisterous!

Gale paints beautiful landscapes usually themed around snow capped mountains.  I have a couple she gave to Mom: a rock and a panel.

Unknown Month, 2006

H. Armstrong Roberts, Stock Market

Caption: I believe in you.

I wish be of more comfort for you two.  Bijou had a wonderful, loving home.  Her life was a very happy one before her illness.

She is in my thoughts, and I know she found lots of friends - maybe even Dad where she is now.

Love to you,

Mom/Mary

Inside card: The Bad News: I can't go around grunting and groaning all the time.

May 15, 1982 Saturday

Now Tom,

What would people think if I limited my vocabulary so greatly[?]  It would be depriving the whole world of my great speaking ability.  Anyway, enough about me, haha.  I would like to remind you once again what a great guy you are.  I'm really glad that we're such good friends and I hope it stays that way even after graduation.  But mainly, I just want to wish you a Happy Birthday!

Love,

Lea

Lea has recently moved to far northern California.  We only caught up with each other on Facebook, and that's where I found out that she is a lesbian, involved with a much older woman, and still didn't tell her parents.  She's had a hard life including life-threatening illness.  I think the move followed her dad's passing; her mother passed away fairly young.  She's been highly involved with horses and training, but I have once again lost touch with her.  She was also quite eccentric.